Learning to deal with the aftermath of trauma; a community discussion

Nationally recognized trauma expert Dr. Janine D’Anniballe, Director of Trauma Services at Mental Health Partners, recently led a community Zoom meeting aimed at helping Boulder residents cope with the aftermath of the March 22 mass shooting.

During the May 6 discussion, D’Anniballe talked about why sharing feelings of anger or sadness can relieve cumulative stress, which occurs when multiple events like the Boulder tragedy and Covid-19 are piled on top of personal concerns.

The personal concerns D’Anniballe pointed to might include shopping at a new grocery store since the King Soopers store remains closed for the foreseeable future.

“You know, I don’t think there’s anything more stressful than trying to shop in a different grocery store, when you can’t find anything, where you don’t know where the almond milk is or that certain kind of cheese you always buy,” D’Anniballe said.

The exposure to violence also causes stress because television replays of the images and sounds are “embedded in our consciousness,” D’Anniballe said.

She began the discussion by talking about why mass shootings are more disturbing than other forms of trauma. D’Anniballe then listed a series of responses to the shooting, including Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, which she calls “post-traumatic stress response” because “it’s a normal response to an abnormal event. There’s nothing disordered about it.”

Re-experiencing the trauma also plays into a person’s normal response. “For instance, if we have repeated thoughts about the event and we kind of can’t get something out of our mind,” D’Anniballe said. “We’ll just be doing something (like) cooking dinner or washing dishes or walking the dog and we’ll kind of have an intrusive memory of something we heard or saw – that’s part of re-experiencing the trauma.”

Re-experiencing trauma can occur when you’re asleep. Other signs of trauma include avoidance and denial, with D’Anniballe warning that avoidance can lead to substance abuse. Checking out with drugs, alcohol, even TV and video games means “we don’t have to feel,” D’Anniballe said, but repeating those coping behaviors over and over again can cause work and relationship problems.

“If this is still going on for you or for people you love, this is a good time to seek professional help from Mental Health Partners,” D’Anniballe said.

She went to say that a buildup of stress means you’re not taking steps to return to normal “and then we might become more easily irritated or more easily break down in tears or snap at our kid or not want to get out of bed.”

She equated a buildup of stress with being stuck or frozen, saying, “When the threat feels so great that we don’t even mobilize to fight, we’re just kind of stuck.”

Although the responses to stress that D’Anniballe described are all considered normal, she also said they are involuntary and, even though our body knows how to reset itself, it sometimes needs extra help returning to what she termed “homeostasis.”

Homeostasis is defined by Encyclopedia Britannica as “any self-regulating process by which an organism tends to maintain stability while adjusting to conditions that are best for its survival. If homeostasis is successful, life continues; if it’s unsuccessful, it results in a disaster or death of the organism.”

Returning to a “normal” homeostasis state may make some people feel guilty, which is OK. “I don’t think it’s mutually exclusive to be empathetic for people who are still actively grieving and hurting, and us being joyful or happy. I think there’s room for both,” D’Anniballe said.

It’s important not to minimize an individual’s response to the Boulder tragedy, but it’s equally important to understand that “we all come to help and support in our own time, in our own ways.” D’Anniballe stressed that people should not be tempted to jump in and try to “fix” a friend or family member who is suffering but rather “let the person take the lead with what they might need in terms of next steps and then giving information, giving referrals, connecting them to resources, presenting them with the options of what could be potentially helpful choices for them.”

D’Anniballe also talked about the role resilience plays in recovery. One significant step toward achieving resilience is living in the present – no multi-tasking allowed – which D’Anniballe acknowledges is “really hard to do,” but it allows your mind to rest.

Also, eat healthy foods.

“I’m not saying avoid the ice cream and the popcorn and all that delicious stuff…but it will deplete us if that is our sole source of nutrition,” D’Anniballe said. So, avoid excessive sugar, caffeine and alcohol but be sure to drink lots of water and get plenty of sleep.

“Sleep is one of the first things to go during stress, so we have to practice good sleep hygiene like avoiding electronics before we go to bed. If we’re not sleeping and resting, our nervous system is going to stay on high alert,” D’Anniballe said.

Moving your body is important, too. That can be anything from gardening to walking, running or even taking a trauma-informed yoga class. Movement is considered one way of “unsticking” stress and literally moving it through the body.

Read more in the Daily Camera.